SOUTH CAMPUS—This year, Halloweekend was more chilling than ever for senior Daniela Romero (CAS ‘19). It was a dark and windy Saturday night. Freshmen and seniors alike were making their way to the hottest (literally) frat parties, while Romero was in her dorm crying tears of horror as she contemplated the rest of her adult life.
Some people need a halloween flick or a haunted house to let out shrieks of terror, but all Romero needed was a night alone with her thoughts. “It was horrifying,” she said. “I couldn’t shake the feeling that for my entire life I’ve been doing everything wrong.”
There’s nothing scarier than coming to the realization that your life is a joke. “I’m a zombie,” she told us as her eyes glazed over and she entered a state of dissociation. “I’m never going to get eight consecutive hours of sleep again. I’m always going to be running from deadlines. At this rate, I’m going to die before I graduate. I’ll never be able to pursue my true passion, and I won’t be good enough in whatever career I end up choosing. If I go into the arts, my family will never forgive me for not having a ‘backup career.’ I’ll probably get a dead end accounting job and never make enough money to pay off my student loans and then I’ll live a miserable, lonely life and no one will remember me.”
We tried bringing her back to reality by calling her name repeatedly, waving our hands in front of her, and even spraying a little holy water on her, but to no avail. She was gone. This halloween activity proved too terrifying for her fragile ego. Maybe next year she can do something a little tamer, like summon a few demons or something.