SOUTH CAMPUS—Sources report that  Bob Tollen (CAS ’18) figured out how to access a secret class menu to get the best classes for Fall 2017.

While most students were stressing over their horrible registration times, Tollen was looking at a secret class menu filled with open spots in class like How To Tie Your Shows, Sneaky Ways To Eat Ribs, and Sports Class.

“I had so many options I didn’t know which one to pick,” said Tollen.  “I am so savvy and so proud of myself. Only real students know about the secret menu.”

Tollen is charging students over $500 to teach them how to request this secret class menu. Many students took the opportunity right away.

At press time, sources report that the password to access the secret class registration menu is “presidentbrownheartsdeanelmore.”

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