GSU—In a shocking announcement, Boston University’s Student Activities Office has said that Spring 2019 will be the first semester to include a “Weeks of Unwelcome” tailored specifically for transfer students.

“We felt particularly bad when we realized we didn’t offer transfer students any activities that acclimated them to Boston University. We can only imagine the challenges that come with adjusting to our large school big city atmosphere, especially mid-year,” said SAO director Gina Candice. “But then we remembered that we don’t give a fuck.”

Many transfer students are understandably angry about this development.

“This is a rageout,” said Cherry Smith (COM ‘21), transfer student from California University of Pennsylvania. “People think we’re all stupid or something but I was dropped on my head as a kid and I don’t have no dain bremage.”

BU then announced that these students will no longer be allowed to dine at Marciano Commons, because fuck them, that’s why.

At press time, 1,000 transfer students were seen moving into Danielsen.

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