Photoshopped by Karen Martinez (COM '22)
Sophia Yakumithis (CAS '21)

Sophia is a junior studying history and art history. She has a good personality.

On Thursday, an incident report was filed after the infamous Rhett Bench allegedly told a sophomore, “[she’d] be prettier if [she] smiled more.”

“I was heading to a class in CAS and wasn’t really aware of my expression,” said Hannah Tatte (CAS ‘22), the target of Rhett Bench’s chauvinistic remark. “I had that eerie feeling that someone was watching me, though, so I picked up my pace a little bit.”

Tatte is, unfortunately, not the first to file a claim for sexual harassment against the controversial statue. Earlier this year, three prospective female students reported that Rhett Bench said he “wanted [their] cookies” as they posed on his lap for a group photo.

“I think he was getting a hard one, so I immediately jolted up off of his lap,” one of the victims, who asked to remain anonymous due to an ongoing Title IX investigation, disturbingly recounted. “But then again, maybe it’s because he’s made entirely of metal. Either way, it’s pretty upsetting that things like this are happening in 2019.”

The statue depicts beloved mascot, a Boston Terrier named “Rhett,” in the style of a gym rat who is ready to smash an empty can of Red Bull on his fraternity brother’s forehead because he was being a lil’ bitch. Rhett Bench, which was funded through alumni donations, has unsettled many students and faculty on campus with his sheer existence.

The Bunion reached out to the BU Alumni Council for comment but was denied.

Said Tatte, “Rhett Bench? More like Brett Bench. I definitely got Kavanaugh vibes from this dude. Maybe when Ginsberg croaks, we can put Rhett on that bench instead.”

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