Photoshopped by Lauren Kelmar (COM '21).
Anna Kate Fahey (COM '22)

Anna Kate is a sophomore studying Film & Television. She has two names in order to fit in twice the personality.

It seems that the Rhett Bench has been trying to get in touch with his old flames again.

According to an anonymous source, last week Baldwin the Eagle – mascot of Boston College – received a midnight text from Bench.  “The number was blocked, but there’s no one else it could be,” said Eagle.  “All it said was, ‘u up?’  Classic Rhett Bench.”

“Not this again,” said Bobby the Beacon, mascot of UMass Boston and an acquaintance of Rhett Bench.  “Look, I know it’s quarantine and parties are slim, but come on, Rhett.  You’re better than this.  Texting Baldwin?  Really?”

Eagle is not the only local mascot to hear from Bench.  The anonymous source claims that John Harvard the Pilgrim received a midnight text.  Rumor also has it that other recipients include Griff the Lion of Emerson College, who went on a few coffee dates with Rhett Bench; and Tim the Beaver of MIT, who Bench ghosted after getting him to do his calculus homework.

Paws the Husky, mascot of Northeastern, also claimed to have received a text from Rhett Bench. “Yes, he totally texted me.  Isn’t that crazy?  Y’know, it used to be a real love-hate thing going on between us!”

At press time, when asked about his relationship with Husky, Rhett Bench replied “Who?”

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