BAY STATE ROAD–Controversy swirls this week around the infamous Rhett Bench, who, throughout the entirety of quarantine, has yet to be seen wearing a mask.

“At first, we didn’t want to say anything,” said Scarlet (CGS ‘23), a BU tour guide who frequents Bay State Road.  “But as a pillar of the BU community, Rhett Bench should be wearing a mask.”

Scarlet told The Bunion that she became determined to convince Bench of the importance of mask-wearing.  “I’ll never go to quarantine again,” she said.  “No, nor any of my folk.  If I have to lie, steal, cheat…or trick Rhett Bench into wearing a freaking mask…I’ll never go to quarantine again!”

Unfortunately requests from Scarlet, and other university personnel, that Bench wear a mask have fallen on deaf ears.

In a heartfelt appeal to make Bench see reason, the West Campus Pumpkin begged him to take part in quarantine safety measures. “Rhett, wear a mask,” she pleaded. “If you get COVID, where shall I go? What shall I do?”

In answer, the Rhett Bench had only one thing to say. “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

At press time, The Bunion approached Rhett Bench for a comment. He ignored all of our questions, instead staring straight ahead with cold metal eyes as if he were, in fact, a lifeless metal bench decoration.

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