SPACE JAM ARENA, MORON MOUNTAIN—Warner Brothers has brothers of the frat variety up in arms over Lola Bunny’s new look for the recently announced film, Space Jam 2. The motion picture, set to hit the big screen in July 2021, features reimagined character designs for the entire Looney Tunes cast; including Miss Bunny herself.
The 1996 Space Jam flick is fondly remembered as the catalyst for many young peoples’ journey into puberty, courtesy of Lola Bunny’s bimbo-esqué depiction. In a controversial turn of events, the character’s 2021 version has appeared to drop her curvaceous figure and tight-fitting uniform and adopt a more family-friendly look. Unsurprisingly, Questrom School of Business students immediately took a stand.
“I’ve taken the animators’ decision as a personal attack on my emotional well-being. My father has contacted the family lawyer about the matter,” asserted Seth Cohen, Questrom class of ‘23 and unabashed animal activist. “As a staunch supporter of women everywhere, this is not only a personal loss, but a global one as well.”
Another finance major, who wished to remain anonymous, shared his take on the devastating news. “Simply put, this feels like a piece of my childhood is being ripped away. The first time I saw Lola take the screen was comparable to the first time I did coke: invigorating, serendipitous, and numbing. This modification is the definition of inhumane.”
The Bunion reached out to both the plastic surgeon and animators responsible for this catastrophic loss, but neither could be reached for comment.
At press time, several Questrom-based organizations had started GoFundMe’s to raise legal funds to reverse the hurtful animation verdict.