ENG—Sources report that Dr. Stegman, PhD, and new Biology professor at Boston University, totally bombed the leading joke of his first lecture yesterday. The joke in question has yet to be determined, as few students in the class could even speak about the moment because it was so awkward for everyone in the room.

Deb Sullivan (ENG ‘18) was in attendance of the aforementioned lecture, and claimed that she actually heard crickets chirp after the joke was said. Another student, John McCrink (CAS ’16) reported, “the deadest silence of the most empty graveyard during the quietest time of night doesn’t compare to the silence in that room yesterday.”

At least three students have dropped the class from the time that the joke was initially made.

But Dr. Stegman isn’t the only professor suffering from the pressure of writing jokes while trying to be informative. Five out of six professors claim that the first joke is vital to the vibes of the class for the rest of the semester, and that messing up this joke will have long lasting effects on Stegman’s reputation.

At press time, Dr. Stegman, PhD, was shaping up his material at a local open mic in hopes of making a comeback.

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