CAS — Boston University’s Mathematics Professor Charles Loflin was left ashamed and defeated when his usual joke bombed in a 300-student lecture last Tuesday.

In his lecture about Cartesian planes, Loflin said, “Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet”.

To his surprise, instead of being greeted with the usual forced laughter, Loflin was met with blank stares from his students.

“I’d been using that joke for 24 years, so I was a little distraught,” Loflin said, choking back tears. “That night, the incident kept playing over and over in my mind. I smoked my first cigarette in 18 years that night.”

After days of no sleep, Loflin decided to reach out to his colleagues in the Engineering department. They programmed him a remote where, at the press of a button, a pre-recorded laugh track plays.

According to Engineering Professor David Slovak, who spearheaded the project, the simple remote contains four buttons for its four features: laughing, applause, booing, and random dancing.

“We decided to go with the iCarly Model,” Slovak said.

Students were once again, less than impressed.

“I guess it would have had a better effect if he got it to work on the first try,” said William Rosebud (CAS ‘21). “He accidentally pressed the random dancing button and started crying.”

At press time, The Bunion learned Loflin was currently being treated for depression.

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