CAS—Sources report that today in his WR150 Seminar, Dr. John Peters cited himself during his lecture.

“Now if you’ll look at Peters’ theory on Shakespearean subplot, you’ll note that it is groundbreaking,” said Peters. “While not widely accepted yet, I think this theory could change the way we look at everything forever because it adjusts how we think of the space time continuum.”

Many students who were present during the class are currently suffering from strained necks due to the double takes they took in response to Peters’ citation. Others were not really paying attention to the lecture to begin with.

“If you look further into Peters’ theory,” continued Peters, “you’ll realize that the only person who would agree with it, based on textual evidence, was Aristotle. This is why it has been so difficult to get a publisher to wrap their tiny little brains around my original and inaccessible approach to Shakespearean text. They just don’t understand.”

On the students’ way out of class, Dr. Peters shook each of their hands and reminded them that he has a doctorate.

“I could see why you would be tempted to paraphrase my own thesis that we covered today in class,” said Dr. Peters, “and quite frankly, I’m flattered. But if you write any of this down in your upcoming essay, I will consider it plagiarism of me.”

At press time, Peters was reading self publishing books that were self published and still hadn’t given up on speaking in third person.

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