BOSTON UNIVERSITY — Due to the cancellation of spring break, Boston University announced the implementation of Wellness Days, short breaks for students during the busy month of March. These are days when professors are not allowed to assign students work of any kind…except for Professor Amadeus Wellington, whose class is “just different.”

Students are not pleased about this. “There has always been that one teacher who gave homework over spring break,” said Ken Barnes (CAS ‘22), a student in Wellington’s class. “We always anticipated that. But these Wellness Days are literally one day–is a one-day break too much to ask?”

According to the professor, the answer is yes. “We only meet once a week. That means we only meet 14 times for the whole semester!” said Wellington, talking about his popular class, Intro to Underwater Basket-Weaving. Reportedly, students often run out of time to finish their assignments in class, and must complete them at home in their bathtubs.

“There’s just not enough time to cover everything during class,” said Wellington. “I mean, yes, the classes are three hours long. Yes, there are plenty of other classes that make this schedule work. But, the factor you are not taking into account is that other professors know how to budget their time. I do not, and I’m going to make that everyone else’s problem.”

At press time, Professor Wellington and his class were under investigation for causing an unprecedented number of bathtub-related injuries.

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