President’s Day is a dumb holiday. All the presidents have been men so I care about absolutely none of them. But, we get a day off of classes so that’s cool I guess. And, it’s right after Valentine’s day so you can spend all day online shopping sales. 

But enough with the small talk. 

So apparently there’s a new old white man running the country. Whoop de do!! All I know is that we were promised a FAT check from the new one. 

Where oh where could this check be? Because I don’t have it! I’ve been saving these Ugg slippers in my Amazon cart for MONTHS now because I will NOT buy them with my own money. 

Look, I don’t give a fuck about politics, I’m a girl. BUT when there’s cash monayyy involved count me in. I don’t care about the peach mint flavored candies in the news, I just want my check! 

Gimme my stimmy y’all.