BOSTON—BU is going Hollywood! In an unprecedented move, the Academy of Motion Pictures and Sciences has picked President Brown’s annual report as a late Oscar Nominee for Best Original Screenplay.

President Brown released Boston University’s 2018 annual report Even Our Boundaries Don’t Have Boundaries Tuesday morning, and it quickly caught the attention of the Academy.

“We were captivated by the title. It was so poetic. We felt that we didn’t even need to read the screenplay,” says Elizabeth Kerry, an anonymous voting member… oops.

The ‘report’ follows 17 incredible stories centered at BU in the past year, including Boston Pride, medical research, and money… lots and lots of money. To the average moviegoer, it might seem like too many stories to compile into one screenplay, but we insist that it definitely is.

The most captivating installment is the inauguration of the Booth Theatre. Despite popular belief, this is not a story about John Wilkes Booth, it’s actually about Joan and Edgar Booth (Who are they? We don’t know, probably rich friends of President Brown). Actually, it’s not even about Joan and Edgar Booth. The true story of this theatre follows the heartwarming story of the homecoming of the Boston University theatre program that’ll make you say “I didn’t even know they operated across town.”

Despite this screenplay not being developed into a major motion picture (yet), Even Our Boundaries Don’t Have Boundaries has already earned an impressive 83% on Rotten Tomatoes, which we’re almost certain was somehow done by President Brown.

Nevertheless, all of us here at The Bunion wish President Brown luck at the Oscars.

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