PRESIDENT BROWN’S HOUSE—Sources report that President Brown, inspired by Dean Elmore’s Coffee and Conversation, wants to host his own discussion: Tea and Cold Stares in his living room.

This discussion section will include only two options of tea: earl grey and chamomile. In order to impress President Brown, students will be required to withhold their blinks for the entire fifty minutes of the class so they can perfect their cold stares.

Rumor has it that President Brown will also give extra credit to students who can grow the best mustache.

Marcus Plotter (CAS’ 19) said, “There would be nothing better than sitting in awkward silence with President Brown, especially with a cup of hot tea in my hand.”

Some students believe these sessions will really help them prepare for the real world.

Sally Thomas (COM’ 18) was thrilled to be able to attend. “I have been trying to get  a job and I think a cold stare is really an integral aspect of the interview process. I really am looking forward to be able to work on my stares with the esteemed President Brown.”

At press time, sources confirmed that the temperature of the room will be set to sixty-five degrees and the tea will also be cold.

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