Photoshopped by Shannon Damiano (COM '22)

Shannon Damiano is a sophomore from New Jersey studying Media Science. If her roommate is reading this, she knows you ate her hummus.

ONE SILBER WAY— President Robert A. Brown and Dean of Students Kenneth Elmore released their much-anticipated Boston University eyeshadow palette last Friday after months of planning.

“President Brown is such a skinny legend,” said Dean Elmore on working with President Brown. “It was such an honor to work with him. We’re literally BFFLs.”

According to President Brown, his relationship with Dean Elmore is “okay” and “fine, I guess.”

The palette includes a wide-array of colors, perfect for any Boston University undergrad. A full list of colors is below.

Elmore stated that he was particularly passionate about the color Allston Crawl, a reddish-brownish-yellowish-greenish color.

“We really wanted to capture the essence of vomit for this particular shade,” said Dean Elmore.

Michael Crelin (COM ‘20) was paid to film and document the conception of the palette since February.

In the documentary, the pair met with a design team, swatched shades, and bought matching Canada Goose jackets with Boston University funds.

“President Brown didn’t call me Michael, or even the nickname that all my good friends call me here, Hamdog”, said Crelin. “He only called me ‘Student U38498732’ the whole time.”

The palette is expected to make $2.48 million in profit, matching Brown’s income in 2015.

More shades to look out for:

  1. Rat King, a metallic gray, an ode to the ruler of Boston’s sewer system.
  2. Connecticut, white.
  3. Orange Cone, a Boston University classic.
  4. Dining Hall Chicken, a baby pink.
  5. Mugar Cubicle, a depressing woody brown.
  6. Charles River Bread Co. Rosemary Focaccia, a light tan with heavenly herbal specks.
  7. Student’s Tears, a murky blue, perfect for midterms season.
  8. Money, Money, Money, a holographic forest green, rumored to be President Brown’s favorite shade.
  9. The Allston Crawl, a reddish-brownish-yellowish-greenish color.
  10. Mustache, a light gray, to match that glorious face furniture.

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