Well, Christmas came early this year, folks. 109 days early, to be exact. On September 7, Kylie Jenner, a woman of, well…no words, announced her pregnancy with two emojis and a decently edited IGTV video.
But enough about King Kylie’s iMovie skills, let’s get to the real stuff: what on Earth is the latest heir to Kylie’s billions going to be named? In a world with an infinite amount of possible names, it can be daunting to try and guess. Lucky for you, we’ve done all of the hard work! Right here, right now, we are going to predict the name of the little cherub using what Kylie will no-doubt take Inspo from: BU landmarks.
It goes without saying that whatever name Kylie (and I guess technically Travis?) choose, it’s going to have to end in an “i,” with an “ie,” or a “y” sound. Or, if it doesn’t, the name has to be able to transform into that sound with a nickname that really pops on insta stories, like the ingenious Norman to Normy phenomenon or Stormi to Storm. What can we say? Kylie is a nickname wiz. So many BU landmark options instantly come to mind. Marsh Chapel can become Marshy or Chappy, both of which give off a really sophisticated, spend-the-afternoon-at-a-museum-looking-at-old-stuff-vibe. Warren Towers can become Warry or Towy, something that makes you think “huh, wouldn’t have chose that, but hey, all press is good press.” And of course Bay State Road can become Bayie (a fun twist on Bailey), Statey (like Stacey but better), or Roadie (could be a fun conversation starter). Last but certainly not least, the best possible name Kylie can choose is Rich Hall. What better way to flaunt what ya got then outright naming your infant child “Richy?”
Another important standard to remember for the name of the incoming bundle of joy is that it has to fit in with all of the family’s names. What goes with Reign, True, Dream, Saint, and Psalm? Lucky for Kylie, she can use dear sister Kimberly’s precedent and BU landmarks to really get the best possible name. Inspired by North West? Good news! In addition to West campus, BU also has East Campus and South Campus! Direction names can live on with East Webster or South Webster. Perhaps even easier, Kylie can take after Kim once again and just do Boston Webster. Boston and Chicago can one day commiserate about their names together on Thanksgiving, and isn’t that what naming a child is all about?
Last but not least, King Kylie needs to remember that at the end of the day, whatever she ends up naming her second-born, all that really matters is that the baby is safe and healthy. And marketable. That’s why the only logical choice here is Questrom. This kid means business.