You know this guy. He sits in front of the room and manspreads so hard that he takes up two desks (one desk chair per ass cheek). His blue surgical mask is perpetually damp and always right below his nose. He smells like steamed vegetables and looks like an NFT. 

Why did he sign up for “Female Empowerment and the Modern MILF?” All he does is talk over the female professor and play devil’s advocate. He says all this inflammatory stuff. He started pretty basic with your classic, “there are only two genders,” “women belong in the kitchen,” and “gay people shouldn’t be able to adopt,” but recently, he’s been getting more creative. You never thought that you would hear anyone say, “women can’t be astronauts because oxygen is stored in the balls and they won’t be able to breathe up there,” or “women can’t be doctors because they look like shit in those white coats,” but he continues to surprise.

You’ve been noticing something recently, though. When he spews a stupid take and the professor says, “shut the fuck up, Kyler,” or “I’m going to ban you from taking another MILF centric class every again,” he gets this look on his face. He turns red, and kind of starts to shiver. One time you sat next to him, and you swear you heard him moan, “yes, Mommy.” That’s when it hit you. This motherfucker has a degradation kink. And what better place to be degraded than a gender studies classroom? You almost have to respect it. He’s probably saving a lot of money by getting degraded and getting his Individual in Community hub unit in one go. Way to go, Kyler. Or should I say, fuck you, you dumb bitch. I hope you rot in hell. 😉

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