Emily Parker

Emily recently moved to Boston from Wisconsin to earn her M.S. in Television Writing and Producing here at BU. Her main focus is comedy, but she's also very dedicated to marrying rich one day. Please reach out if you know anything about raising hamsters; her fur-son Winston will not let her cuddle him, and it's really damaging her self-esteem.

I am constantly surrounded by people who are apparently infinitely more interesting than me. My girlfriends are always talking about their cool jobs, their dating life, and their family drama, but according to them, I’m always “just sort of there, drinking silently in the corner.” 

These are some boring facts about myself that supposedly nobody wants to hear about…

  • I work in accounting (no, not the TikTok kind)
  • I whole-heartedly believe soup is the best meal
  • I’m a huge fan of The Eagles
  • I’m from Muncy, Indiana
  • I know how to die dozens of knots
  • My mom is my best friend

While I see these things as extremely relatable, the only thing about me that seems to get any attention is my endometriosis. The tissue lining that grows on the outside of my uterus may not be interested in the pain it’s causing me, but I know that my friends are!

Any time I’m gossiping or discussing something with my girlfriends, I can always find a way to bring up my endometriosis, so I always have something to say. Hooked up with a guy last night? Well, sex hurts. Complaining about your period? At least you know when you’re going to get your period! Wondering what the homework was for class? I got another ovarian cyst!

Some of my best memories have been when I force other women to take me to my doctor’s appointments. My doctors keep telling me I don’t have to come in as often as I do and that my case is extremely mild, but it’s a great bonding experience for my friends and I that I would never take away from them. 

In fact, it’s brought us so close together that I make sure it’s all I talk about! I even set up text alerts for my squad to let them know how I’m feeling daily.

Says my bestie, Brittney, “This is too far. Please cool it, bitch.”

No one ever used to call me “bitch,” before I started non stop mentioning my endometriosis!

Sometimes I have to cancel plans with my friend group, but they’re always super understanding about it because they just know it’s because of my condition. They’ve gone so far as to block me on Instagram so I don’t have to see them hanging out together, sad that I’m not there with them.

Overall, my endometriosis has done more for me than any of my other personality traits, so in a way, my mom isn’t my best friend anymore*. That spot is reserved for my abnormal uterus tissue and my wonderful group of friends.

* Mom, please don’t be mad. I love you so, so much.

 

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