BOSTON MARRIOTT—What started as a weekend getaway in Boston rapidly deteriorated into a life threatening experience. I was wandering the hotel hallways when I was swooped up by a crowd of girls on their way to “rush.”

Everyone just laughed when I asked where they were rushing to and why they were going there. I had no idea what was going on.

I kept getting shuffled from room to room in this mass of girls and was forced to talk with people, yet no one would tell me where I was. They didn’t seem to be in much of a hurry for people who were “rushing.”

Normally, when people on the street are in a rush, they don’t have time to talk and they especially don’t have the time to line up and chant random greek letters. This sure is strange.

I really just wish someone would tell me what the heck is going on instead of just asking me to introduce myself over and over.

After three whole days of this “rushing” thing, we still haven’t even left the hotel. Like, what if a fire or something happened in here and we needed to get out? I am beginning to worry for my life.

They won’t let me leave. I am but a frail old man and the last thing I want is to be rushed or to get stuck in a stampede. I am frazzled and also beginning to get quite hungry.

If anyone out there is reading this, could you please tell me where I am going? What’s the big rush?

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