Photo by Robert Branning (COM '21)
Lauren Kelmar (COM '21)

Lauren is a senior from Palo Alto, CA studying Film and Television. She watches Taylor Momsen do parkour in her spare time. She is better at Wii bowling than Maddy Schmidt.

It was just like any other morning. I woke up an hour after my alarm went off, got dressed in a hurry, and ran out of Claflin Hall. But today, something was different.

It was only a matter of time before I saw what was wrong. It was everything. I couldn’t see. I had forgotten my contacts.

I approached SHS when all I could see was a sea of orange, yellow, and black. I did what any lost sightless person would have done—I got down on my hands and knees and felt my way down Comm Ave.

Once I crossed the street, I tried to follow the yellow tape road, but there were too many twists and turns. Was I in the bike lane? The sidewalk? Who the hell knows.

I was already exhausted, so I decided to rest on a nice orange stool in the middle of the sidewalk. It’s so nice of the construction workers to put seating out for us during this long trek!

I got up and continued to stumble down the street when a biker ran me down. While wallowing in pain, I rolled into an abyss filled with wet concrete and piles of discarded bricks.

It’s day 14. The concrete has dried around me. I am stuck in the ground. Will anyone ever find me? I’m getting blinder by the day.

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