Photoshopped by David Simon (COM '21).
Ethan Brown (COM/CAS '21)

Ethan Brown is a senior from Bethel, Connecticut majoring in Film & Television and Environmental Analysis & Policy with a minor in Innovation & Entrepreneurship. He also started a comedy podcast and never stops talking about it, so he's arguably even worse than improv people. You probably shouldn't even read his articles, it'll just encourage him.

ZOOM— Alright, guys, hold on one second while I get you into breakout rooms.

Okay, where’s the breakout room button again? Is it in one of the top menus, let’s see… File, Preferences– oh, what did you say? Sorry, Billy, you’re muted. Billy, did you say something?

Oh, it’s on the bottom? Oh, right right! I did this in my last class, I just keep forgetting. Okay, yep, there’s the breakout room button, okay. How many people do we have on the call? One, two, three, four…

…sixty-three, sixty-four, sixty– what? Billy, you’re muted. There you go.

Oh, you’re saying I don’t need to do the math, I can just put how many people I want per group? No, but I need the groups to be even. For this activity, they need to be even. Okay okay, I lost count, let me try again. One, two, three…

…two-hundred-fifty-seven, two– wait, did you guys know you can see the number of participants on the participants tab? That makes things a lot easier! Okay, let me just put in the number, and…

Oh, crap, it’s got Steve and Polly in the same room. They worked together last week, I want people meeting other people in the class. Besides, I think Steve and Polly are dating. They’re sitting next to each other every day. Well, their Zoom windows are next to each other on my screen, but same thing. Anyway, I gotta redo this with manual groups.

Wait, why are people leaving the call? Class is still— oh, it’s 12:15? Eight days later? Okay, you can go.

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