Earlier this week, many Americans called on lawmakers for a needed change to the failing American healthcare system. Many Americans couldn’t help but contrast the failure of the US healthcare system to the decades long success of American Girl Doll Hospital.

“My doll’s leg fell off last year and it only cost me $150. Meanwhile I broke my leg falling out of a tree, and I’m out thousands of dollars,” said one angry US citizen. “Why the big difference in price?” 

With locations in numerous states across the country, American Girl Doll Hospitals have been wiping off marker stains and popping limbs back in for thousands of US dolls.

“At the doll hospital, at least they do your hair before you go,” remarked one angry taxpayer.

In the past few weeks, protests have erupted on the heated issue. In New York City, angry Americans stormed into the doll hospital, grabbing and looting doll bandages and doll-sized crutches. According to one woman, “you never know when they may come in handy.” One man stole a doll-size boot cast, arguing that even if it didn’t fit his foot he could use it for his “finger, or whatever body part can fit in there.”

Protestors were spotted outside the hospital as well, carrying signs saying things like “Human injuries hurt just as much as plastic ones!” and “Humans need healthcare too!”

Many prominent US politicians have taken notice of the healthcare programs available to the dolls, and are proposing the groundbreaking idea of similar hospitals for humans.

Last week US Senator Bernie Sanders took a visit to the American Girl Doll Hospital in Washington D.C to get inspiration. Sanders was given a tour of the hospital and even tried to take a spin in one of the doll wheelchairs. Sanders was apparently spotted leaving the hospital with a ‘Samantha’ doll box and a bag full of matching outfits for himself.

The US has a long way to go in terms of healthcare reform. But in the meantime, Americans can rest assured that their dolls will receive the best care available in the US. Human hospitals included.

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