Photoshopped by Jacob Cohen (COM '22)

Lauren is a senior from Palo Alto, CA studying Film and Television. She watches Taylor Momsen do parkour in her spare time. She is better at Wii bowling than Maddy Schmidt.

Dear Rhett Bench,

This is a really hard letter for me to write. I’ve started and deleted and started again so many times. Look, I’ve always been a self conscious dog. Since I was a little puppy I’ve had people making fun of my height, wheezing condition, and bug-eyes. I try to go to the gym, but my wheezing makes it difficult. I try to eat better, but it doesn’t always work out. I try to sculpt my thighs and buy fancy equipment, but I usually get tired.

When I first walked by and saw your sculpted, bulging muscles and thick thighs it just brought me back to when I was bullied. I’ve always wanted to have a body like yours, but to know that other people also want me to just fills my aging heart with sadness.

I’ve been starving myself for a few days now and going to the gym 20 hours a day, despite my doctor’s recommendations to stay away from overworking my fragile body.

I also recently started going back to my therapist when I landed myself in the hospital due to a lack of eating. She told me to make a dream journal complete with pictures and descriptions of my dream, healthy body. It ended up just being pictures of you though.

One day I hope to walk by you and not feel crippling self hatred.


P.S. Do you eat some sort of protein shake?

Leave a Reply