COMM AVE—So long bicycles, skateboards, and other traditional ways of transportation. College students have a more bodacious way of getting around campus: scooters. Studies show that 6 out of 10 students ride scooters to their classes, while the other 4 are too chicken. These two-wheel, ankle-breaking babes are completely changing the modern college landscape, and the trend shows no sign of stopping. For one student however, stopping is his specialty, as he rides one of the most beautiful pieces of machinery known to man.

The BU student only known as Radster McAwesome, is the lucky owner of a breathtaking Spark 3.0 Razor Scooter prototype. This gorgeous hunk of titanium, not yet available to the public, features the newly patented Spark Bar Turbo® on top of the brake pedal. When the bar is pushed down, the scooter comes to a screeching stop and ignites the street with the coolest of flares.

Although initial market test audiences call the Spark Bar Turbo® “impractical” at best and “a lawsuit waiting to happen” at worst, it is undeniable that it looks epic as fuck.

But for McAwesome, it’s not about looks or even functionality, it’s about the bitchin’ attitude that the Razor brings. Mobility and transportation are but an afterthought for him. He sacrifices smooth riding for the badassery of braking every few seconds to see those sweet, sweet sparks. He may only move 3 inches at a time, but the glints and screeches of his machine keep him moving forward.

McAwesome is an elusive being. Nobody knows where he lives or where he’s from. Nobody even knows if he goes to classes, and if he does, he’s probably rarely on time. But what people do know is where he is at any given moment on campus. At the mere sound of his scooter, students rush out of their classes to catch a glimpse of his tantalizing scintillations. Even professors can’t help but join in. McAwesome truly lives up to his name.

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