COMMONWEALTH AVENUE—Sources confirmed Friday that a receptionist at the BU Study Abroad Office is questioning the purpose of her existence after referring another walk-in student to the study abroad website.
“I visited the office Thursday afternoon to find out about different study abroad programs. I’d been considering the Auckland program for a while and I thought I’d just stop in on my way home,” said BU student Randy Hayworth (COM ‘16). “I talked to Sarah and she was really helpful!”
“I give him some pamphlets about Auckland, and next thing I know he’s asking me about financial aid and class credits,“ said visibly shaken receptionist Sarah Cornish. “He even asked me about the application process!”
“I just gave him the usual answers. I told him to go to the financial aid office for questions about financial aid, an academic advisor for questions about credits, and that the whole application process is online. The answers to all of these questions are online,” Cornish added, clutching a paper bag in her hand as her breathing became shallow. “I learned all of that information myself from reading the website. Why would he need to ask a person about it? What am I even doing here?”
“I thought it was kind of funny when she told me everything was online,“ said Hayworth, after submitting his completed application on the Study Abroad website. “Kind of makes you wonder why they have an office or receptionists in the first place!”
“Pretty weird,” added Hayworth, laughing gently to himself.
“What is the point of an information table if the information is already at everyone’s fingertips?” said Cornish, crying aloud to a cold, indifferent universe. “What value can I offer to the world if the world already knows everything?”
At press time, Cornish was spotted being wildly overcharged for a copy of Nietzsche’s Beyond Good and Evil at the BU bookstore.