Photoshopped by David Simon (COM '21).

Caroline Koehl is a second year student studying International Relations and Environmental Analysis & Policy. She is from Minneapolis, MN, but you can find her at your local IKEA.

Superheroes are some of the most influential figures in American society, using their powers to fight for the betterment of humanity. Unfortunately, some of these heroes have had a change of heart – meet the five superheroes who have decided to use their powers for evil and promote the anti-mask agenda amidst the COVID-19 pandemic.

1. Sharkboy

That’s right, Sharkboy from The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl has become a fervent supporter of the anti-mask movement. After his fifteen minutes of fame ended, Sharkboy had quite a fall from grace. Now he spends most of his time making “masks have microchips in them” conspiracy videos (in the Sharkboy costume) to broadcast to his one thousand Twitter followers. He has transitioned into the anti-mask movement quite nicely, but we wish he would have just joined TikTok like other, more respectable former child stars.

2. Supergirl

Of course this list needed a token female, and Supergirl (from the CW series Supergirl) fills that role nicely! Everyone has that one crazy cousin who doesn’t take COVID seriously, and for Superman, Supergirl is that cousin. She doesn’t even wear a mask while working as a superhero in the show, so we really should have seen this one coming.

3. The hulk

This one is pretty self explanatory. First, The Hulk has somewhat of an invincibility complex, being so strong and having survived so much radiation. Also, he’s worried that, despite his muscular physique, wearing a mask will make him seem weak and effeminate. Finally, he has absolutely no teamwork skills, and as mask wearing is all about the collective interest, The Hulk is not interested.

4. MERMAID MAN

Mermaid Man from Spongebob learned about the anti-mask movement from his pals in the nursing home, and, needless to say, he now is under the impression that COVID-19 is a hoax. This one is definitely a lost cause, as Mermaid Man refuses to listen to any medical authorities on the issue (this probably stems from his trust issues with his nurses, who he claims are stealing his medication).

5. batman

Batman is a straight up capitalist, and he thinks that the only way the human race can go on is by ignoring COVID-19 to keep the economy functioning, and this includes foregoing masks! He believes in survival of the fittest (and the richest), and while he’ll tell you to go out in public without a mask, he has actually been hunkered down in his multimillion dollar batcave for the past few months.

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