SPRINGFIELD, MA-–A small disturbance was reported in one suburban home on Friday morning as Boston University junior Thomas Boones (COM ‘22) disclosed his summer plans to his mother, Pamela.

“It all happened so fast,” Boones reported. “We were talking about my plans for the summer, and I mentioned the advertising internship I landed this summer, and my mom just flipped her shit.”

“I have nothing against my son being a communications major,” Pamela Boones stated. “In fact, I’ve always been the most supportive of people with that lifestyle. But hearing that my son-–my baby boy-–will be an UNPAID intern…. There are some things a mother can’t accept.”

Boones and his mother reportedly came to verbal blows while discussing the position, which is with Evergreen Shipping Solutions, Inc. 

“It’s literally just a regular internship,” Boones confirmed. “I’ve got twice the work as a junior partner, half the time to complete it in, and everyone there calls me an idiot. Typical stuff.”

“What will the neighbors say when they find out my son is a fallen man?” Pamela Boones bemoaned. “Working without getting paid-–you know, if he had just tried a little harder, maybe he could’ve gotten a paycheck, or whatever it is they give advertising majors as pay. Cocaine? Puff bars?”

Amidst the argument, Boones’ father, Patrick Boones, return home and joined the fray,

“What the hell does he need an internship for?” Patrik Boones said. “He should’ve been a doctor, anyway.”

At press time, Boones’ parents are insisting he cold-call the CEO of the company, to “straighten things out.”

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