NICKERSON FIELD—Over 12,000 Boston University students, professors, and media representatives packed Nickerson Field last night to hear Film and Television major Leonard Wenderson (COM ‘20) reveal his Oscars 2019 predictions.
“Leonard has some of the strongest opinions on movies out of anyone on campus,” confirmed Sarah Bronstein (CAS ‘21). “When he decides to vocalize them, people with no stake in the conversation feel compelled to listen for some reason.”
Wenderson, clothed in ceremonial white robes, ascended a tall platform constructed in the middle of the field. Twelve percussionists beated rhythmically on bass drums. Wenderson raised his arms, and the stadium quickly fell silent.
“Best supporting actor shall be Mahershala Ali for Green Book,” proclaimed Wenderson.
The crowd, in unison, chanted back “it is so” for the next several minutes before falling silent again.
“Best lead actress shall be Glenn Close for The Wife, but it should have been Toni Collette for Hereditary,” he said.
At this, a sorrowful wailing arose from those assembled. Many collapsed to the ground, sobbing. The Bunion has confirmed that at least three students immediately fell into comas at this point in the evening.
Suddenly, Christopher Park (COM ‘22) stood up in the crowd.
“O great Leonard, what is thou opinion regarding Bohemian Rhapsody?” he cried out.
After a few minutes of deliberation, Wenderson raised his hand.
At this, the entire stadium erupted into chaos as students began tearing chairs up from the ground in anger. Riots broke out across the country as angry citizens looted stores and burned effigies of Rami Malek in the streets.
At press time, several CFA students have begun constructing a fifty-foot monument dedicated to Roma, Wenderson’s pick for Best Picture.