Last week, sources reported that Myles Standish would be undergoing a ‘Facelift’ of sorts over the next couple of months. Plans to give the building a makeover have ensured to improve the lives of the students living there and also help the social popularity of the On Campus dormitory.

“Coming to college can be very overwhelming socially, and I just wanna be in the “in crowd”, even if it means getting a little bit of reconstructive surgery,” said Myles.

Myles also announced that she plans to stop hanging out with some of her current loser friends like Bay State dorms and Danielson Hall.

“Yeah, I think something might be up with Myles because she’s been acting really distant lately,” said Danielson. “But maybe that’s just me.”

“Yeah, Myles is cool. We’re going to The Pru to get her some new elevators this weekend,” said Stuvi. “Yeah, and after that she’ll be just about ready to hang out with us.”

“Almost ready. She needs to take our suggestion and lose a little bit of that annex though,” chimed in Stuvi 2.

At press time,  Myles realized that it’s temperature control would just never be up to standards with Stuvi 1 and 2, and that it needed to be true to itself.

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