Man, this school is whack. There’s construction everywhere, grade deflation, and now broken gumball machines. What’s next, expensive tuition?

After my first class on Friday, I went to CAS to take a leak. My interest was peaked as soon as I entered the usual dingy, feces-smelling bathroom on the third floor. Why was my interest peaked, you ask?

….I found the holy grail. I know what you’re thinking, two-ply toilet paper? In CAS? Nah, man. I wish. What I found was better. A gumball machine.

So, I went to the black box and got some looks from my peers. I thought I had toilet paper under my shoe or something! There was nowhere to put quarters in so I just left my money on top of the box.

No gum came out. Trust me. A round, long cotton thing came out on a string wrapped in cardboard. The gumball machine is definitely broken. I emailed maintenance, but no one responded. It was the worst lollipop I’ve ever had.

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