Photoshopped by Jacob Cohen (COM '22)

Math major Jeremy Maxwell (CAS ‘21) has recently announced to the world, much to the rage of his colleagues in the field, that he prefers subtraction to multiplication. Math department colleague Addison Adler (CAS ‘21) has expressed her distress about Maxwell’s statement, stating that while “Jeremy has always been an outlier in our cohort, but he has taken his desire to differentiate himself from the norm way too far. How dare he besmirch the good name of multiplication!”

Maxwell’s recent declaration has landed him in some trouble with the Math Department. A representative from the Department released a statement saying that Maxwell will be “put on Academic Probation for his recent statement” because “the Math Department at Boston University strives to avoid a divided community, and thus does not accept mathematical discrimination of any kind.”

Despite the consequences he faces, Maxwell is confidently standing by his opinion. “I’m not satisfied being just another constant in the Math Department’s educational equation, I am much more of an independent variable.” Maxwell also noted the benefits to his current situations, stating that he is excited to “subtract the haters from my life.”

At press time, Maxwell was seen penning a scathing editorial on his hatred for the unit circle.

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