Tyler Smith is a simple man. He likes dogs, The Office, beer, and blondes. Every fall, as cuffing season approaches, he finds himself a nice blonde girl to cozy up with. Courtney, the girl next door with brown eyes. Keightlyn, the platinum blonde sorority girl. Lexi, who looked like she could’ve been his sister. But this year, for Hispanic Heritage Month, he wanted to be a bit more socially conscious and appreciate the contributions of the Latinx community to the local dating pool. Last week, he traded out his secret pumpkin spice lattes for a different type of spice.
Tyler knew that finding the Camila Cabello to his Shawn Mendes wouldn’t be an easy task. But when he saw Julia on Tinder, with her luscious black hair, and the little Mexican flag in her bio, he knew she was the one. In order to win her over, he’d have to stand out.
“I just knew that I had to connect with her on a deeper level than the other guys.” he says, explaining that his opening line “Hola, Como Estas?” sent her swooning. Before he knew it, they were as official as Justin and Selena in 2011.
“Julia (pronounced Hoo-LiA) just isn’t like other girls, you know? I mean I wouldn’t say exotic, but she’s introduced me to so many unfamiliar and foreign things.” He says. “So many new spices in my food” [cumin] “and traditional Latin music” [Bad Bunny]. “I just know she’s the one, and I think she feels it too. When she talks about me with her friends, she calls me her ‘guerito’. I think that means soulmate. It’s like she’s Ariana Grande and I’m Mac Miller,”
From changing his beer of choice to Corona, to complaining to his friends that Taco Bell just doesn’t stack up once you’ve had “the real thing”, the changes in Tyler’s life brought on by his love for Julia have been widespread. He’s even taking a Spanish class so he can communicate with her parents (Texans by birth) when the time comes!
When asked what the future holds for him and Julia, Tyler was optimistic. “I know we’ll last. Her parents are excited to meet me. And mine? Well, I mean it’s not like my parents are racist, they’re just… traditional. I don’t think they’ll have a problem with it, I dated a girl with dirty blonde hair once and they didn’t mind.”
Julia, however, may have other plans. “He’s just not really my type, and he can’t seem to take a hint.”
Alas, it appears as though Tyler may be on the road to a broken heart soon. Perhaps one day he and Julia will find their way back to each other like Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. In the meantime, October 16th is approaching, and that one blonde girl in his Spanish class will surly be his shoulder to cry on when Hispanic Heritage Month, and his relationship, come to an end.