Photoshopped by David Simon (COM '21)
Caroline Koehl (CAS '22)

Caroline Koehl is a third year student studying International Relations and Environmental Analysis & Policy. She is from Minneapolis, MN, but you can find her at your local IKEA.

THE WORLD WIDE WEB– While all BU students log onto the Patient Connect Portal every day to complete their daily screening surveys, one student has formed a connection with the Portal unlike any others. Joe Buchanan (CAS ’21) claims to be in love with Patient Connect, or as he calls “her,” PC.

When asked about his blossoming romance with the Portal, Buchanan gushed excitedly.

“She’s the first thing I think about in the morning, and logging on to see her and take my daily symptom screening is the best part of my day,” raved Buchanan, “Every time I get a text or check my email, I hope it’s a notification telling me to check in with PC about my daily survey or lab results.”

Buchanan has acknowledged that the relationship is unconventional, but that him and the Portal make a great team.

“Whenever I see that green badge, I know it’s the sign of a healthy relationship. We’ve only ever gotten in one fight, and it was because I cheated on her by getting a flu shot, but she understood. We’re not ashamed either. I show her off in public every four days to the workers at the COVID testing center. I just love how concerned about my health she is, and she’s so consistent about checking in with me.”

At press time, Buchanan and the Portal began planning their wedding for April of 2021. The couple is registered for gifts, such as swabs and masks, at the BU COVID testing center.

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