OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT—Boston University announced earlier today that Lori Loughlin, best known for playing the role of Aunt Becky in Full House, was “by an exorbitant margin” Giving Day’s top donor.

Yesterday at 9:04 AM, Loughlin made a quick pit stop at Boston University before arriving at the Boston Federal Courthouse for the start of her Varsity Blues college scandal trial in order to hand off the record-breaking donation in person. Knowing that her fate for the Big House is coming closer and closer, Loughlin decided she needed to make one last effort to secure her daughters an unwanted college education.

Boston University’s Giving Day allowed Loughlin to legally donate to the university $500,000 in cold hard cash. While she admitted to Giving Day representative Theresa Hope (CAS’ 20) that she “thinks USC was a better fit for her daughters”, she’ll “settle for Boston University.”

By making these donations on Giving Day, the donation will bring little questioning during her trial.

President Brown arrived at the scene to personally thank Loughlin for the generous donation. He told Loughlin that he would grant her daughters admission “as long as they completed a new application themselves.”

Brown also guaranteed Loughlin that her daughters could share the Stuvi2 penthouse complete with their own personal chef so they can avoid the dining halls. And while BU doesn’t have football games to tailgate, Brown told Loughlin of the wide array of Allston parties their daughters can experience.

“Don’t worry if they don’t do well on the SATs or know how to write an essay,” said President Brown as Loughlin was being put in shackles. “We can just put them in CGS.”

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