Photoshopped by Ethan Brown (COM/CAS '21)
Ethan Brown (COM/CAS '21)

Ethan Brown is a senior from Bethel, Connecticut majoring in Film & Television and Environmental Analysis & Policy with a minor in Innovation & Entrepreneurship. He also started a comedy podcast and never stops talking about it, so he's arguably even worse than improv people. You probably shouldn't even read his articles, it'll just encourage him.

COLLEGE OF ARTS AND SCIENCES—After two and a half months in Professor Iteroles’ Introductory Art History course, local student Katrina Phished (CAS ‘22) has finally realized that she was catfished by her professor’s headshot on StudentLink.

“I’m a comp sci major, but I saw the picture of [Iteroles] and I was like damn, I gotta meet this dude,” recounted Phished in an interview with The Bunion. “Slicked back hair, green eyes, a chin dimple I could nap in, and just the right amount of stubble. Who wouldn’t take that class?”

“When I first started the class, he looked really different from the photo,” Phished continued. “I shrugged it off at first and figured it was a bad angle or something, but the more I’ve looked at it over the last ten weeks, the more I’ve realized: I was catfished.”

When The Bunion reached out to Prof. Iteroles for comment, Iteroles insisted that he was not catfishing his students. “The photo is me,” he explained. “All I did was hire a professional photographer, a costume designer, a makeup artist, a hair stylist, a beard stylist, a nose shaper, a facial expression coach, and 10 people just to stand behind me and blow on my hair to give it that natural wavy aesthetic. I also rented a trailer in which I dyed my hair from gray to black and my eyes from brown to green. If actors can do it, why can’t I?”

Iteroles hopes to start a course registration app where instead of signing up for courses just based on their name and time, students and professors can actually swipe right on each other and find a match. “We gotta stare at each other and pretend to like each other for four months, so why not put a face to the name?” Iteroles posited.

“No, it’s not creepy,” he added.

“No, it’s nothing to do with attractiveness.”

“No, seriously, I swear.”

At press time, Iteroles was offered an underwear modeling job based solely on his Terrier card photo.

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