BOSTON—According to sources, Rajen Kilachand (GSM ’74), who donated over $25 million to Boston University leading BU administration to rename one school and one residence hall after the man, was wondering if BU Students “haven’t forgotten about me,” and if they “still remember that I exist.”

In the past few weeks, Mr. Kilachand has slowly faded from the minds of BU students. A string of robberies and an impending disastrous thunderstorm caused students to worry about their personal safety instead of rich men exerting their power. However, Mr. Kilachand contended, “Students shouldn’t forget about how much money I put into the university. My money is going to important things, like redesigning the top floor of Kilachand Hall.”

“I’m very important,” added Mr. Kilachand.

While wondering about his fame, Mr. Kilachand pulled several BU students and ordinary Boston citizens aside to ask them, “Do you know who I am?!” Every individual questioned responded “No,” to which he said, “I’m Rajen Kilachand, goddammit!”

“If students have forgotten about me,” Mr. Kilachand continued to mutter to himself, “maybe I should name more things. I don’t think the new Rape Crisis and Prevention Center has a name yet. Yeah, Kilachand Rape Crisis and Prevention Center. That has a nice ring to it.”

During his pondering, Mr. Kilachand sat alone in the Kenmore Square U-Burger, looked down into his hamburger, and renamed it in his head as the “Kilachand Burger.”

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