by Ogenna Oraedu

“Pete Davidson: The nastiest skank bitch I’ve ever met. Do not trust him. He is a fugly slut.”

It’s been almost a year since America’s royal couple (Kanye West and Kim Kardashian) got divorced and they’ve decided to make it everyone’s business. Well, at least Kanye has. 

While Kim gets ready for her bar exam in an unreleased SKIMS power suit with shoulder pads, Kanye is doing what any self-respecting artist would do: release a tell-all book shitting on anyone and everyone he’s ever interacted with, complete with pictures. 

When the promo for Ye’s Burn Book was initially released on his Instagram, it was sandwiched in between two posts; in one, he tried convincing his followers that his account was not hacked, and the other was a dump of badly cropped screenshots of various private text conversations.

In the caption, Kanye cites Regina George, the tyrannical blonde HBIC from the 2004 cult classic Mean Girls, as his inspiration:

“REGINA MY GIRL FOR REAL THE WAY CADY BETRAYED HER AFTER SHE TAUGHT HER HOW TO SURVIVE IS JUST WHAT CUDI DID TO ME HE’S REALLY FRIENDS WITH PETE DAVIDSON WHO HAD THE AUDACITY TO DESTROY MY FAMILY IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT KIM SAYS ONLY ME AND GOD KNOW THE TRUTH AND THE TRUTH IS THAT PETE IS A POOPY MEANIE FACE.”

Hours after the book was revealed, Ye deleted the posts on his Instagram and Twitter where he exposed everyone for being toxic and evil. Luckily for fans, it is still available for presale on his site. He even included some exclusive quotes from the book:

“Billie Eilish disrespected Travis Scott. Billie Eilish is a grotsky little bitch.” 

“Kid Cudi didn’t shower for a month… during SUMMER, and to this day still hasn’t washed his hair.”

“Kim has an amazing ability to suppress her gag reflex.”

Just like Regina, Kanye proved to be the ever caring, charitable person everyone knows he is by including a free Yeezy neck brace with each book order: “KIM REPLACING ME WITH PETE IS JUST LIKE WHEN CADY GOT REGINA RUN OVER BY A BUS.”

At press time, Kanye and Julia Fox were in the process of breaking up via their publicists, reported North West. 

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