Photoshopped by Michael Yue (CAS '23)
CJ Zachara (COM '21)

CJ is a junior in COM studying Film and Television. He is from Maplewood, New Jersey.

STUVI 2- Peter Clarkson (SHA ‘21) may be deep into his junior year, but he recently approached The Bunion to admit that he has a laundry problem.

“I’ve lived in StuVi2 for two years now and I can’t seem to find the laundry room,” said Clarkson. “My clothes are so dirty, but I don’t know where to wash them!”

Last year, Clarkson spent $800 on new clothes when all the ones he had were dirty. He saw no other alternative. When his bank account ran dry, Clarkson was seen rolling two yellow carts full of clothes down Comm Ave to Warren Towers.

“We lived in Warren freshman year,” said Clarkson’s roommate Clark Peterson (CAS ‘21). “But he never did laundry when we lived there either?”

Once he got to Warren with all his laundry, sporting nothing but boxers, he found another problem. He didn’t know how to do laundry.

“The machines are so complicated!” complained Clarkson. “So many buttons, what does perma press even mean?!”

After spending 10 minutes putting a roll of quarters into the machines, Clarkson proceeded to put a pod in the detergent tray, flooding all of Warren Towers. Silly Peter.

The Bunion told Clarkson his problems could be easily fixed by asking for help, but he said that wasn’t an option.

“Sure, I can ask where the machines are. but I still won’t know how to use them! What’s the point?”

At press time, Clarkson was seen taking the stairs to his apartment on the 20th floor, oblivious to the existence of elevators.

Leave a Reply