In a recent report, it has been revealed that Boston University has hired acclaimed children’s book author Judy Blume to write all future BU alerts.

Addressing concerns that students have ignored past BU Alerts due to their plain nature and dull tone, the university decided that the Superfudge author would be the best person to inform students about need-to-know issues in a fun and engaging way.

“I know what its like being a young person out in the world,” stated Blume, “it’s confusing! The best way to deliver bad news to young adults is not by being cold and insensitive, it’s by employing clever witticism and relatable dialogue!”

This new change has been welcomed by students on campus.

“When I saw I got a text from the BU alert system I thought it was just going to be another boring cut-and-paste downer notification,” said Gabby Lorris (CGS ’19), “But it turns out, ’Are You There God? It’s Me, An Active Police Investigation On Comm Ave, Please Avoid This Area’  was actually a very pleasant and informative read.”

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