STUDENT VILLAGE—According to sources, after reports of classes being cancelled across Boston University’s campus, some jerkoff is wondering if Fitrec is still open today.

“I’m maxing out this week,” stated doucher Alex Reyes (SMG ‘14). “Mondays are chest days, and that would just ruin upper-body on Tuesday and legs on Wednesday.”

“So, you do you think Fitrec will be open?” Reyes asked our reporters after a long pause.

Reyes was not worried about the impending 70 mile per hour winds, statewide emergency alerts, or the scores of reported deaths in the Caribbean. Instead, the sack of shit pondered whether to lift using the freeweights or the bowflex. “I’ll probably jog a bit down Comm Ave, too. The wind will be good for resistance training, you know? I need to get into that more.”

“I could probably make it there around 5:00 p.m.,” continued Reyes, which is about the time the rain is supposed to hit the hardest.

It was unconfirmed if the dickhead made it to the gym, as this reporter was lifting weights at GymIt for his entire day off.

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