I can’t be the only person unhinged enough to have thought about eating the Muppets. Oh, I am? Read this article and tell me it doesn’t make you hungry for some freshly cooked Muppet. Also, please let me know if I can still call myself a vegan if I hypothetically ate one of these delicious-looking mfs.

1. Miss Piggy

Miss Piggy would definitely be the most delicious Muppet, bar none. She is a bit thick, so I think she would be kind of fattening. To state the obvious, you could make Miss Piggy bacon. But have you thought of turning her into a honey-baked ham? Imagine eating that on a Sunday night. And then the leftovers? Scrumptious! You could make a delicious sandwich on Hawaiian rolls with leftover honey-baked ham. 

 

1. Gonzo

First of all, I would definitely cut off his nose because that thing is gross. But I think Gonzo would taste like chicken. He has major chicken energy, you know? And his wife is part chicken, so maybe the flavor rubbed off?  In conclusion, I would really like to turn Gonzo into nuggets and dip him in some Polynesian sauce.

 

1. Bert and Ernie

I’m not a total sadist, so I would never separate these iconic “roommates” by eating only one. I would roast them and eat them both with a side of sweet potato and broccoli. Bert and Ernie are a great source of lean protein, and gym bros across the land would eat them post-workout.

 

1. Kermit

All I can say is I want him in a spring roll. ‘Nuff said!