I’ve done something terrible. It’s unfathomable. Worse than anything you could imagine. I’m not sure that anyone will look at me the same again if I own up to it. But alas, It’s time that I admit it because I don’t think we have much time.
Let me set the scene. I was at a park and it was a hot day. Unbearably hot. I was dying of thirst and I had forgotten my hydro flask at home. I refuse to use the devil’s material (plastic) so I searched high and low for a reusable cup to use at the water fountain. I asked a woman if I could borrow her baby’s sippy cup and oddly she said no. I then approached a nice looking fellow exiting the baseball field. He held a triangular shaped cup in his hand but when I asked him to borrow it, he just looked at me like I was crazy. I even told people that I was trying to save the world and no one would even acknowledge me. Can you believe that? Finally, I gave in and bought a plastic bottle of water. I knew it was wrong but I had no choice. I quickly chugged it and threw it away, completely forgetting to recycle it. And the next day there was a wild fire in California and then there was a hurricane in Louisiana and who knows what’s next. But what I do know is that it’s all because of me.
I know that it may seem like big corporations like Amazon are causing climate change but Jeff Bezos really needs the money so we can’t blame him. And I’ve seen the instagram infographics so I know the truth. By not recycling my water bottle, I single handedly caused climate change. It’s kind of impressive if you ask me.
So there you have it folks, my plastic water bottle ended up in a trash can and now the world is ending. Greta Thunberg may be the teenager solving climate change, but never forget that I’m the one who caused it.