Telling your boyfriend that his dick pic angles are unflattering are like announcing you have hemorrhoids while riding the T—nobody wants to hear it. Luckily, using William Shakespeare’s prose as a guide, there are ways to gently break it to him that “some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” So, without further ado: here’s how to tell your beefcake he could work on his photography skills. 

  1. When presented with such a photograph from your lover, simply open Google Docs, upload the picture, and leave comments and suggestions regarding how he might improve his work. If that does not work, try editing emojis into the background of the picture, really giving it a trendy feel. 
  2. Another route that you could take is calling your local convenience stores to make sure that they are out of Arizona Ice Tea. Your man loves sizing up his schlong alongside the can…but he can’t do that if there is a tea shortage. If the convenience stores in your area have just received their Arizona shipment, buy every can and dump the iced tea in the ocean like our founding fathers or whatever. I didn’t take APUSH. 
  3. You could also try reminding him that there are no flattering angles of a dick, and that trying to send pictures is just funny to you. This suggests he should not send them, without telling him that his specific dick is uglier than usual.
  4. Suggest a photography class. Self explanatory. 
  5. Get someone else to talk to him for you. Maybe try sending the pic to a bunch of his friends, so that when they send it to their group chat and talk about how ugly it is, he’ll finally get it.

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