BOSTON, MA – The Commonwealth Avenue Chipotle is known for its consistency in giving BU students food poisoning, hour-long online waits, and inaccurate hours. The one that this location could be is a photoshoot between the former Hollywood IT couple Julia Fox and Ye. 

Balenciaga and Guac? Fuck it, I’m skipping my COM lecture to have a go at this. Here’s how to recreate that photoshoot of the couple from Carbone. 

  1. You must have leather pants. If you do not have leather pants, you can’t even enter this location. Sorry, I don’t make the rules- I just enforce them. 
  2. You need to have your own column in Interview Mag. That will be hard with timing and logistics, so maybe just a column in The Bunion will do. 
  3. Sit at the table near the bathroom for an intimate and private part of the restaurant. The only downside is that you may see people run in after digesting that god-awful BU chipotle. 
  4. Start posing with chips, the free water cup that you always put soda in, or even the napkins. Have a go at your #couplegoals photoshoot. 

After you follow all these steps, you are sure to be DMed by the former COM alum, Alex Cooper, to be on her podcast, Call Her Daddy. Live. Laugh. Love.

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