Julie Albright– American Girl Doll Inc. tried to cover it up, but when Julie’s parents divorced, her mother rebounded with a Lesbian relationship. When it was her weekend with mom  she’d stay in a super progressive gay household. Her mom and step-mom always had their lesbian friends come over, so the gay seeped into her DNA. By the time she was 17, she had hooked up with at least half the girls on her school basketball team, and she was a god among the members of her school’s GSA. They’d bow down to her as she passed them in the  hallway.

Samantha Parkington– Samantha was raised in a super conservative household and her parents taught her homosexuality was bad. However, when she read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn in school, she couldn’t help but ship Tom and Huck. This spiraled into an almost concerning obsession, and she proceeded to pass out handwritten gay fanfiction about the two after school. On one occasion, she enlisted her best friend, Nellie, to help her write. The two started roleplaying the sex scenes they would think up about the two characters. She ended up marrying a man because of her internalized homophobia, but she and Nellie still hooked up every Saturday night. They’d lie about going to “book club.”

Felicity Merriman– Felicity started out as a confident straightie, harboring a major crush on smokeshow Benjamin (and who could blame her?). However, Ben was considered a fuckboy for his time and asked if they could have a threesome with another girl. Felicity got her best friend Elizabeth to be their third. Long story short, Ben was TERRIBLE in bed, so Felicity and Elizabeth just decided from that point on to hook up with only each other. Ben got super upset and told the whole village that they just couldn’t handle his massive schlong. No one believed him. He died in the revolutionary war while Felicity and Elizabeth worked as super gay nurses for the soldiers. (Think Nurse Ratched!)

Molly McIntire– Molly grew up thinking girls were pretty, but didn’t really think much of it. Her moment of realization came when she started fantasizing about her teacher, Miss Campbell. If you’re a real American girl doll fanatic, like I am, you’ll remember Molly and her friends would always ask Miss Campbell about her love life. Molly’s friends just wanted to hear the romantic details, but Molly was actually listening to pick up information on Miss Campbell’s boyfriend whom she wanted to assassinate in order to have Miss Campbell for herself. Miss Campbell ended up being hired as a factory worker in WW2 and had to leave her job. This left  Molly heartbroken. Molly wrote down her secret love of her teacher, and it was only recently discovered by her grandson. The grandson, now the showrunner of Riverdale, paid tribute to his grandmother’s forbidden secret crush by having Archie successfully hook up with his teacher–something Molly tragically never got the chance to do.

Kit Kitteridge– Kit Kitteridge was as gay as they come. Due to the Great Depression, her house was a boarding home. Kit would develop crushes on some of the other teen girls that stayed there. Kit’s moment of gay clarity eventually came when she gave herslef a haircut, only to realize she had given herself the classic lesbian pixie cut. Looking in the mirror then, she fully opened herself up to her gayness. In her teen years, Kit would have love affairs with all of the other teen girls that passed through her boarding home. Her house eventually became known around town as a beacon of lesbian exploration. As an adult, Kit started a full time business out of this, and saved her family from their economic trouble by running a lesbian prostitution ring. Now THAT’S girlbossing.

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