WARREN TOWERS—History was made on Monday as the elevators in Warren C Tower were actually on the floors they said they were, marking the first sighting of this rare phenomenon since 1978. At 5:23 PM, the display for the C Tower elevators said that they were on floors 4, 14, and 10, respectively. Investigative reporters for The Bunion discovered that these were indeed the accurate locations of each elevators.

“I can’t believe it,” said Warren 14C student Warren Fyeralarm (SHA ‘21), who was in the second elevator at the time. “I never thought I’d live to see the day when the elevators were on the right floors. I’m in awe. I’ll never complain about tuition increases again.”

Unfortunately, the victory was bittersweet, as the A and B Tower elevators were not where they said they were: A Tower elevators were on 7, 17, and 8, but the display put them on 10, 19, and –, while B Tower’s were on 16, 4, and 11, but were listed as 2, Q, and -12.

At press time, this article had not yet been submitted, because its writer was stuck on floor W++/.

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