Photoshopped by David Simon (COM '21)
CJ Zachara (COM '21)

CJ is a senior in COM studying Film and Television. He is from Maplewood, New Jersey.

A Halloween party in Allston was broken up over the weekend after more than 5 students gathered in a sticky basement.

BUPD got wind of the party and parked outside at around 11:30, but waited for backup from the newly formed ‘Rona Patrol. 

At 11:43 PM, a sexy firefighter entered the party looking to have a good time with her friends downstairs. Luckily, she left the door ajar, allowing the ‘Rona Patrol to slide in behind her. 

“Our officers are able to infiltrate parties fast, break them up, and ensure that no other parties break out for at least two weeks. It is statistically a more positive outcome than a normal police raid,” said ‘Rona PD representative Captain Sars. 

By 11:50, a ‘Rona PD officer had infiltrated the bartender Tommy, a perfect host, to begin reigning in control of the party. 

“I heard Tommy cough while he was filling my beerbong. I didn’t think anything of it, but moments later everyone was coughing. It was kinda sick!” said the sexy firefighter.

At press time, ‘Rona PD officers were (not) seen floating around dining halls and elevators on patrol.

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