GEORGE SHERMAN UNION–The GSU has been the hot hang out since opening up to students. The distanced seats, the anxious students surrounding the Starbucks, the fact that no one talks, so much fun! However, BU has found a new lucrative money making opportunity, besides charging for laundry, that will break ground in the coming months. You’ve heard of JFK, LAX, ATL, now here comes the airport at GSU!

This won’t be a difficult transition, as the GSU is already giving off airport vibes. The food options won’t change, although expect to see more businessmen talking on the phone in line for Panda than usual. Said one man waiting for his 5:00 pm flight to North Albania, “Wait, this is a university? Why does everyone look so sad and quiet?” 

Instead of showing a green badge, students will now be forced to go through airport security every time they go to the GSU or library. All Off-White Sneakers and Gucci Belts have to be taken off for the metal detector. Also, this means that students may no longer bring large water bottles, craft scissors or a joint with them. A baggage claim area is expected to fit snugly into that scary back room that only the ENG kids use. 

Boston Logan is a little scared of the competition, especially now that international students have no need to use their airports anymore. In a statement on the new development, President Brown said “Now they can just go straight from BU to home without having to ever leave campus. Which means we’ll be getting the airline money as well as their tuition. Mwahahahahaha.”

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