Christmas is only a few days away, and you know what that means! Lights displays, peppermint flavored everything, and the existential dread of going home to see your conservative uncle.
COVID travel restrictions may have changed what your Christmas festivities look like this year, but there’s one holiday staple that isn’t going anywhere – Hallmark! The company is still churning out their litany of films starring white people with poor communication skills reacting to minor inconveniences like they’re the end of the world.
This year, they are working on an original movie that really pushes the envelope. We don’t know too much about the story yet, and we probably won’t even after we finish it, but a few details have been confirmed. First, the movie will have the word “Christmas” somewhere in the title! It will also be set on Christmas Eve, and for some reason everybody and their mothers will be scrambling for gifts, and businesses will be open until 11:45pm.
The protagonist, a woman with brown hair who wears a sweater and works in an office, will be very busy, too caught up in her corporate 9 to 5 to care about Christmas festivities. Her fiance is a man who also has brown hair (gelled, of course) and wears nothing but a black suit with no tie. Then, a problem will occur that will suddenly force her to return to her small rural hometown, and spend time with her parents who own a Christmas tree farm.
She will then run into a man from her past who never left the town and runs a small Christmas shop but is somehow able to afford a rustic mansion. After sharing stories about their lives, he reminds her of the spirit of Christmas. Soon enough, she trades the hot coffee for hot cocoa, and conferences for snowball fights.
But here’s the kicker – the man who taught her to love Christmas again? He’s actually Santa! Yes, he’s a buff store owner with a flannel and the metaphor makes no sense in the context of the film, but he gives a quick wink to the camera at the end, making it perfectly clear.
The movie is set to premiere on December 23, and will air consecutively on the Hallmark channel until the end of January. We’re looking forward to it!