WARREN TOWERS—According to reports, B.U. student and self-proclaimed ‘dope-ass damage dealer’ Craig Sherman (CAS ’18) was loudly yelled at by his roommate last night.
“He clearly has no respect for the sacred duty of Dark Meta Knights to avenge the deaths of their comrades by pillaging the Temple of Kalimaran!”, seethed Sherman as he dug his fingernails into the seat of his slowly spinning swivel chair.
This is reportedly not the first time that Sherman has been vocally accosted by his MMORPG-ignorant roommate.
“Just last week, my raiding party was on the cusp of slaughtering the last Lesser Gremlin in the Land of Lesser Gremlins, when ‘Mr. I have a physics midterm’ asks me to keep it down!” recalled Sherman to the syncopated beat of his pulsating forehead vein.
Benny Rogers (COM ’15), Sherman’s resident advisor, offered his take on the confrontation as he played ‘League of Legends’ while on call.
“What do you guys want? Is there a fire or something? This must be pretty fucking important for me to get up from slaying Gremlins with my Greater Fire Saber,” said Rogers as he hung up on 6 calls of distress from students.
Reporters on the scene noted that when asked how he was doing, Sherman still appeared agitated.
“I’m fine! What does it really matter if the Gremlins seize control of the mine? What is they enslave the entire Trogg population? I’d have blood on my hands, damn it! But I’m fine!”, said a red-faced Sherman as he grasped his temple and stared at the ceiling.
At press time, Sherman’s roommate was arrested for disorderly LARP-ing on the COM lawn.